Anas Luqman

Anas Luqman. He's my nephew. My late nephew.

He was born on 27th May 2004, weighted 3.59kg. This lil fella, my sis mmg face complication nk deliver die. Her water broke, tp die tak perasan. Up until die dah on the way nak blk kuantan, die start sakit2. My mother suruh die singgah HKT since my bro is there. So, kat situ la die deliver our dear Luqman.

At first, the doctors suruh die push. Tho die ckp die dah tak larat. Smpi my bro pun kena marah. Yes, my bro pun masuk delivery room tu. Sbelah tgn die pegang abg din (my bro-in-law), another my bro. I cant imagine the hurt. Tp die mmg tokleh push mase tuh. Pastu, bile dah paksa2 jugak, dah push2, kepala Luqman dah kluar, br doc realized yg Luqman nyer position tak bleh nak deliver the normal way. Pastu diorang suruh my sis nih stop push. Bygkan la. Kena wat c plak.

Mase tgh sakit2 tuh, die kena plak sign form utk agree wat c. Tak bleh org len sign. So since die dah sgt penat n dah try deliver the normal way, doc kasi die bius satu bdn for the operation. And after a few hours, lahirla our beloved Anas Luqman.

Luqman, I cant describe him in loads of words compare to anis. He was with us for a short but very meaningful and memorable time.

He passed away a day before raye puase, 2004 (13th Nov, 2004) due to virus infection in the lung, kidney, heart. We didnt know until the very last day of his life. He was having a fever for a few days. Tp mase die kat Besut my sis ader bwk die to clinic, tp diorang just kasi ubat utk diarrhea n fever. I was fetching my sis n her beloved children with papa three days b4 raye tuh. And yes, anas sgt cranky in a way. We just tot sbb die demam. Die asyik merengek, cannot sleep, and not active at all. Kalo tido pun, die nak atas riba org. Nvr imagine he'll be living us in two days time.

(Note to other parents, n myself in the future: If your child tak playful, bwk la gi jumpe doc. Get a thorough check-up. Sbb children, tho die skt, die still can be active. Maybe takde la active as they usually are, tp still active. Tp if die snyp, n cam penat jer all the time, pegi la wat checkup. There must be sumthing wrong. Tp kalo anak tu mmg cam senyap n budak yg baik (there are babies camnih), kire cam mmg die normal camtuh, so takde mende la nak worri. Unless mmg die skt la. Hehe. Tp tak salah if we get a thorough check-up. For our child, our pride n joy jugak kan? We want the best for them, kan?).

Anas, I can just describe him as a very well behaved child. Sgt kuat n tough. Sbb mase tuh anis still kecik. A year n a half kot. Anis nak tunjuk affection pun kadang2 cam kasar, so kinda menyakitkan Luqman jugak. But, everything yg kakak die 'terbuat' kat die, he just winced a bit. Luqman, suare die sgt nyaring n kuat. Kalo compare 3-3 adik bradik, nangis Luqman plg kuat. Hehehe...And for me, die sgt adorable. If you look at him, esp mase die 4-5 months tuh, you just cant help but fall in love ngan die. Seriously, i think he's adorable.

And die la peneman ummi die tgh AF2 mlm2. Hehehe. Sbb die agak susah nak tido malam2 nih. Time die active. Hehe. N my sis also ckp, luqman, if die nak susu mlm2, kalo org tak sedar, die senyap jer. Just gerak2 kan badan skit2. Unless kalo my sis tak jage jugak, br la die nangis.

And, mind you, he's the anak sedara yg berjaya kencing atas me. While i was changing his diapers. Tp i still love him dearly. At least i do have sumthing to look back to. Hahaha....I miss him. Cant help but feel a lil regret. Sumtimes i feel yg mcm i dun give him as much attention as i gave anis b4. Die duk jauh kat besut pun time tu. Anis mase kecik die duk muadzam, like one an a half hour drive dr kuantan. Besut is like 6 hours man. Tp, i wished i had taken the time. There was a gap of 2-3 months i tak tgk die. Updated with his perkembangan. Tp tak jumpe. I regret it so so much. Tp maybe Allah nak save me the memories kot. Tkt i cant terima if attached sgt dgn die. Sbb everything mesti ader hikmah kan?

Tp one thing yg Im thankful, I smpt spend the last 2 days ngan of his life with him. And thank god he remembered me tho dah tak jumpe lame. My sis ckp, die sgt susah nak pegi kat org yg die tak kenal. I smpi2 rumah tuh, amik die, die tak nangis pun, he even slept on my lap. Kak Lin ckp, dgn abah die pun die tak nak tido. So, Im so damn thankful. (Im crying while I'm writing this, cant help).

May he rest in peace and ditempatkan di syurga di tmpt2 org yg soleh and beriman. Al-Fatihah. Amin.

I miss so damn much lil fella.
More pictures at http://sharinaazreen.fotopages.com/?entry=1152712.